Ten Ways

I do so hope you have been showing your husband in small ways that you love, honor, and cherish him.  But, if you are creatively challenged like I occasionally am, Here are some great ways you can shower him with love.

10 Ways to Do Your Husband Good (Proverbs 31:12)

    * Write him a love note and place it in his sock drawer.
    * Take an entire evening to enjoy his favorite hobby with him.
    * Show up at work with a special drink or take him to lunch.
    * Encourage him for demonstrating a specific godly trait—in front of friends.
    * Arrange a date night at his favorite restaurant.
    * Pray for him today and tell him you are doing so.
    * Surprise him with his favorite dessert after dinner.
    * Greet him in an extra-special way when he comes home from work.
    * Lead the children in a time of honoring him.
    * Ask him: “What is one way I can be a better wife?” Then do it!

If you don’t know when or how to start, there is no day better than today! Or maybe tomorrow since it might be evening for most of you!

Role as a Wife

 

I found this article, after considering looking deeper into what the bible says my role as a wife is.  I will begin to delve further into this process as the month concludes, however, I thought that this article will give you my readers, and myself a good stepping stone to consider where we stand as the wife in our marriage or the female counterpart in a newly found courtship.  Yes I used the word courtship, I do not find what society deems as “dating” as an appropriate occurrence.  After the study of “wifery” I will do a developed study of courtship and dating, in addition to common topics I may blog about.    But as you read this article, please consider where your marriage stands.  Are you following what God has placed before you as a role for a wife?  Or are you living contrary to what God asks of you as a Christian wife?

How does God define my role as a wife?

To think of your husband before yourself.

Colossians 3:15-19 | posted 1/30/2009

Marriage is a two-way love street. Your husband depends on you for attention, encouragement, ideas, and opportunities to serve you, and you depend on him for the same. The tough part is that each person has the freedom to choose to take these actions. Choose for yourself—then make it easy for your husband also to encourage, give, and serve. Ways to do this include:

1. Be appreciative. Few people can resist giving to someone who appreciates them. Thank your husband for the money he earns, the attention he gives you, the understanding you share, and much more (3:16, 17).
2. Be wise. Time what you say and do. Don't interrupt when your husband has a critical need to talk. Don't hold back crucial advice at decision time. Let God show you what to say, the tone to use, and the time to say it (3:16).
3. Work for the peace of Christ. Peace is not giving in, but confidently doing the right thing. Find places to build peace (3:15, 16)
4. Remember your connection to God. You and your husband are two parts of the body of Jesus Christ. Treat your husband the way you'll treat Jesus (3:15).

If Jesus would do it, you do it. And if you'd be pleased to put Jesus' name with this action or attitude, it's likely a good choice. (See also Proverbs 31:10-31; Ecclesiastes 7:11-14.)

Good Words to Remember:

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful …. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17

Today's Challenge:

Think of one special thing you can do for your husband this week, and then do it!

Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

Woman's Beautiful Sphere of Influence

One of the most hallowed, lovely, and beautiful sights in our world is, a woman at home discharging in all the meekness of wisdom, the various duties of wife and mother, with an order that nothing is allowed to disturb; a patience which nothing can exhaust; an affection which is never ruffled; and a perseverance that no difficulties can interrupt, nor any disappointments arrest—in short, such a scene as that described by the writer of the most exquisite chapter of the Proverbs. Eve in Paradise, in all her untainted loveliness, by the side of Adam, propping the lily, training the vine, or directing the growth of the rose; shedding upon him, and receiving, reflected back from his noble countenance upon her happy spirit, such smiles as told in silent language, their perfect and mutual bliss, was no doubt, a brighter image of perfect virtue and undisturbed felicity; but to me, a woman in our fallen world, guiding in piety, intelligence, and all matronly and motherly excellences, the circle of a home made happy chiefly by her influence, presents a scene little inferior in beauty, and far superior as a display of virtue and intelligence, to that of which our first mother was the center even in her original perfections. And it is imagination, and not reason and moral taste, that can revel in the mind's pictures of Eve in Paradise, and not feel warmer admiration in the actual presence of such a woman as I have described.

But it will, perhaps, be asked, whether I would shut up every married woman within the domestic circle, and, with the jealousy and authority of an oriental despot, confine her to her own home; or whether I would condemn and degrade her to mere household drudgery. I have, I think, protected myself already from this imputation, by representing her as the companion, counselor, and comforter of man. She shall, with my consent, never sink from the side of man, to be trampled under his feet. She shall not have one ray of her glory extinguished, nor be deprived of a single honor that belongs to her sex; but to be the instructress of her children, the companion of her husband, and the queen partner of the domestic state, is no degradation—and she only is degraded who thinks so!

Christianity has provided a place for woman for which she is fitted, and in which she shines; but take her out of that place, and her luster pales and sheds a feeble and sickly ray! Or to change the metaphor, woman is a plant, which in its own greenhouse seclusion will put forth all its brilliant colors and all its sweet perfume; but remove it from the protection of its own floral home into the common garden and open field, where hardier flowers will grow and thrive—its beauty fades and its fragrance is diminished. Neither reason nor Christianity invites woman to the professor's chair, or conducts her to the lawyer's bar, or makes her welcome to the pulpit, or admits her to the place of the magistracy. Both exclude her, not indeed by positive and specific commands, but by general principles and spirit, alike from the violence and evil of the military, the debates of the senate, and the pleadings of the forum. And they bid her beware how she lays aside the delicacy of her sex, and listens to any doctrines which claim new rights for her, and becomes the dupe of those who have put themselves forward as her advocates only to gain notoriety, or perhaps unneeded income.

The Bible gives her her place of majesty and dignity in the domestic circle—the heart of her husband and the heart of her family. It is the female supremacy of that domain, where love, tenderness, refinement, thought and tender feeling preside. "It is the privilege of making her husband happy and honored, and her sons and daughters the ornaments of human society. It is the sphere of piety, prudence,diligence, in the domestic station, and a holy and devout life. It is the sphere that was occupied by Hannah, the mother of Samuel; by Elizabeth, the mother of John; by Eunice, the mother of Timothy; and by Mary, the mother of Jesus. It is the respect and esteem of mankind."

It is, as Dr. Spring has said, that silent, unobserved, unobtrusive influence, by which she accomplishes more for her race, than many whose names occupy a broad space on the page of history. A woman who fills well the sphere assigned to her, as a wife and mother; who trains up good citizens for the state, and good fathers and mothers of other families which are to spring from her own; and so from generation to generation in all but endless succession, need not complain that her sphere of action and her power of influence are too limited for female ambition to aspire to. The mothers of the wise and the good are the benefactresses of the human race.

What would be gained to woman's comfort, respectability, or usefulness, or to the welfare of society, and how much would be lost to each, by withdrawing her from her own appropriate sphere, and introducing her to that for which she has no adaptation? Who, but a few wild visionaries, and rash speculatists, and mistaken advocates of 'woman's rights', would take her from the home of her husband, of her children, and of her own heart—to wear out her strength, consume her time, and destroy her feminine excellence—in committee-rooms, on platforms, in mechanics shop, or philosophical institutions?

But may not woman, in every way in her power—benefit society by her talents and her influence? Certainly, in every legitimate way. Her sphere is clearly assigned to her by God—and only by very special and obvious calls should she be induced to leave it. Whatever breaks down the modest reserve, the domestic virtues, the persuasive gentleness, of woman, is an injury done to the community. Woman can be spared from the lecturer's chair, the platform of general convocation, and the scene of public business; but she cannot be spared from the hearth of her husband, and the circle of her children! Substitutes can be found for her in the one, but not in the other. In the bosom of domestic privacy she fulfills with truest dignity and faithfulness the first and highest obligations of her sex.

~from FEMALE PIETY, written in 1852 by John Angell James (1785-1859)

After having thought this morning over my water and bible study, something quite clear dawned on me about my childhood.  I had not been raised to be a stay-at-home-Christian-mother.  This greatly saddens me.  While we were not the most devote Christians at the time, my parents have since become more Christian.  And that brings great joy and comfort to my heart.  However… I now know what a rare treasure it is to have a godly mother who is willing to teach, challenge, encourage, and come alongside her daughter.  As the well-rounded, productive wife and mother I aspire to be, I will make sure that my daughter receives the qualities a young woman should be extremely knowledgeable in. 

I will teach her about cooking, cleaning, shopping frugally, make sure she is knowledgeable in organization, discipline, time management skills, and being strong and proud of her Christianity.

I desire to cultivate in her a servants heart, and many other beneficial character traits.  I hope and trust that keeping her as a “stay-at-home-daughter,” will make the transfer of authority from her father to her husband an easy task, rather than if she had been allowed to move out, and become exclusively accustomed to running her own life. 

In preparing myself for raising my daughter in that structure I have been reading the bible, studying God’s word about what a Christian woman should be, and I have read and prayed over the 7 habits of The Highly Effective Woman. 

In this study, I have learned that the 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Woman are:

1. She rises early

2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines

3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season

4. She sets up regular times for planning

5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system

6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home

7. She organizes her house systematically

While I do constantly try to manage all of these tasks, it has become obvious to me that God is calling me to try harder, focus more, and to ask Him for assistance in completing these habits, so that when my daughter is able to start copying my behavior, and learning these habits from me, I am more than able to set forth a beneficial opportunity. 

As for the first habit, I do wake at 5 am every morning.  To keep myself accountable to that habit I have recently found and joined the 5 o’clock club.  It has allotted me time to myself before the daily chaos starts, to collect my thoughts, plan my day, and fellowship with God. 

The other habits, are becoming habits of mine, I read the bible and fellowship with God daily.  I am beginning to realize the importance of focusing on relational priorities, While I do not consider myself a great planner, I am beginning to get this habit under my “daily” belt.  As a part of the planning, I have developed a to-do list system, planner system, established an efficient routing for managing my home, and organizing my house systematically utilizing the “Fly Lady” Method.    I will say that finding Fly Lady during this pregnancy has done me a great benefit, and I am thankful to her and to God for pointing me in that direction. 

As women, mothers, stay-at-home or working, Do you see the necessity of raising your daughters in this method?  Do you raise her in some similar fashion, or do you let her become what society dictates as of late, a working, late in life mother who doesn’t know how to run her household or manage her career at the same time?  Pray to God for assistance in whatever fashion you decide to raise your daughters.  But for their benefit seriously consider reverting to the lost art of Motherhood, Homemaking, and Wifery.

Flylady chat added to blog!

Flylady chat is at the bottom of my blog, if you notice, it signs you in as guest automatically, just log out of the chat twice, and you should be able to change your screenname, otherwise, get FLYLADY Browser Chat by clicking the link.

Adding my blog to my site…

 

Today I decided that I needed a dedicated webpage for my family, blog, and everything else.  Hope you enjoy! 

Last night while having some time on my hands, I was looking online for advice that I could give married couples on how to live a more Godly, and spiritually based marriage. In doing so, I found a great article at Growthtrac.com. The article I read was, Putting Your Spouse First written by Bob and Cheryl Moeller.

In the article they gave a few suggestions as to how to begin to put your spouse first in your marriage.

1. Pray together before the day begins.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

While my husband and I do not currently do this, I do make the effort every day to pray for our relationship, our family, our children, and for extended family. I personally have found that this simple action has made me concentrate on my marriage, motherhood, and my relationship with God.

2. Act out love to experience feelings of love.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

Everyday, I ask myself, "What can I do today to show my husband that I love him?" I also make sure that I ask him if he needs me to do anything imparticular that day that would make his day easier. Then I follow through on both of those questions. Ensuring that not only does he hear me tell him that I love him everyday, My husband also sees my love and devotion to him in the tasks I have completed during the day.


3. Spend thirty minutes a day in a shared activity and intimate conversation.

Everyday, at the end of the day, after our daughter is in bed, We have "Adult time." During that time, we discuss things about the day, snuggle, watch tv or movie, share a special snack, or I may rub his back, or wash and rub his feet. Both of the last things, to me is also a great symbol of my submission to him as the head of our family. Also, I feel that it is a biblical way to prove my love and devotion to him, and to our marriage.

4. Give your spouse the right to access you any time day or night.

My husband knows that during the day, He can talk to me whenever he wants, and that I will listen. He can always depend on this quality of mine. While I may be having to change a diaper, or feed the baby during the conversation or discussion, my attention is also on what he is saying to me. And I am making sure he knows that I am hearing and listening to him, by asking pertinent questions and making suggestions, and even writing notes in my planner after the conversation.

5. Submit your time decisions to the fifty-year rule.

The fifty-year rule simply asks, "Fifty years from now will we be glad or regret the way we used our time today?"

My husband and I make sure that we spend our time in quality, not quantity. We make sure that we are doing things to make our marriage stronger, our family values a priority, and making sure our children know we love them and love each other.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
(Psalm 90:12)

This prayer is included in the article written, however, I am personally going to start using it everyday during my devotionals and prayer time to ask God assistance in my marriage.

Lord Jesus, thank You for making it so clear in Your Word that my marriage relationship is to be among my highest priorities, second only to my devotion to You. I ask You to forgive me for allowing other things to confuse that divinely ordered plan. Today let my marriage be a clear example and message to the world how much You love Your Church. Use my softened heart toward my mate as an avenue to draw people to the gospel. Let our heart connection in marriage make it easier for our children to come to a lifelong faith in You. Finally, may our home be a small foretaste of the joys of heaven. I ask this in Your Name, Lord Jesus, the One who is soon returning for us, Your bride. Amen.

Also included in the article were these questions, however, I do feel they are something that even if you do not go read the article perhaps you should see, and consider, and discuss with your spouse.

Questions for You and Your Spouse to Discuss
1. Why does the example of a loving and committed marriage have such an impact on others? What will people say was the legacy of your marriage?

2. Which of the nine reasons for keeping a soft heart impresses you most? Which of the negative consequences of a hard heart do you wish most to avoid?

3. Why does it matter that your marriage comes with an expiration date? What steps can you each take today to redeem the days you have left together?

A Mother's Prayer

Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day, With little time to stop and pray,

For Life's been anything but calm, Since You called me to be a mom -

Running errands, matching socks, Building dreams with matching blocks,

Cooking, cleaning and finding shoes And other stuff that children lose,

Fitting lids on bottled bugs, Wiping tears and giving hugs,

A stack of last week's mail to read - So where's the quiet time I need?

Yet, when I steal a moment, Lord, Just at the sink or ironing board,

To ask the blessings of Your grace,i see then, in my small one's face, That You have blessed me all the while-

And I stoop to kiss... That precious smile.

Source Unknown

I have been flying with the Fly Lady for about a month and a half now. I finished my baby steps and have set up an awesome routine for during the whole day. I also am working on my control journal. I think I have a great start on it, and I truly believe that when I get done with it, it will be very beneficial to my keeping my routines and the house tidy once the new baby arrives. It hasn't been that hard with our daughter, however, she is only 9 months old, so things are easy. But by the time the baby arrives, she will be a toddler, so I think it might become more difficult. As they at that point will both be demanding more of me. I am up to the test though. If any of my readers have control journals, or household manuals that you have taken the time to put together, feel free to share. I would love to have everyone join in on making our lives easier from day to day. If you live in CHAOS, maybe it is time for you to FLY as well. Why don't you check out Fly Lady as well, you might find exactly what you are looking for to get more organized. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors to become more loving of yourself and more organized. I will keep all of you in my prayers.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. ~ Proverbs 31:11-12;30(KJV)

Reading today's devotion got me questioning whether my husband can count on me and lean on me. Every morning I make sure to ask him what I can do for him that day. While God is my first priority, my husband is my second, then my children. I do make sure that our daughter sees me as a positive role model as far as being my husband's helpmate. And that I take care of the household to make sure it is a safe and comfortable place for our family. I know that he appreciates everything I do for our family. While my husband is disabled I do know that he knows that he can count and lean on me for caring for the house, the children, and his needs. I am lucky to have him as a loving and dedicated husband and father to our children. In my fear of God, I know in my heart that I will hold a place for my family in God's kingdom. This knowledge holds great light and love in my soul. Our children will know their Father God, and know that they are His children. I hope that my husband and I raise them knowing the true love of God and fear Him in all they do. So that they too will enjoy the peace and comfort of joining our heavenly Father in Heaven.

FlyLady Here I come!

Sitting here this evening, just thinking about how much I have to get accomplished before the little arrival in July. It is hard accomplishing anything when you are the mother of a 9 month old, and the wife to a disabled husband, then to add being 7 months pregnant to that as well? Anyway, I need to get my life organized. I found FlyLady.net and as a result have decided to pray to God for assistance in this feat of need. I have a control journal all typed up and planned and I know several times I have tried to follow her Baby steps. This time however is different. I am feeling the encroaching arrival, and the emergency of needing to be more organized and so... FLY Lady?! Here comes another SAHM! In the future I will discuss my steps to being an organized musing sweet mommy and also quite possibly post pictures of my progress. But first? There will be an emergency cleaning so that when I officially "start" all of my rooms are in order, and not in CHAOS. If you would like to find out more, or see my routines or my control journal just ask. I will try to oblige. However, I do ask that my work and routines are not copied as your own. Make the Fly Lady System work for you, or feel free to try some of the many other systems for house/homemaker organization out there.

A Prayer for The Christian Homemaker

Dear Precious Father, Help me today to be friendly. From the time I wake up until I go to bed guide my tongue, my actions, and my thoughts towards all others into only the friendliest of tones. Lord, let me use the full extent of the definition for "friendly" in my life today...

1. Affectionate and trusting. May I bless my husband with loving affection any chance I get. Whether it is as simple as pulling the covers over him as he is sleeping or as complicated as figuring out the right way to respond to what he is telling me... make me the affectionate wife You meant for me to be. Teach me this affection with my precious children. May I hug, love on and openly cherish them more than I nag, scold, or criticize! May this affection overflow from our family to every one who enters our warm home. I long to be trusting, Lord, as Your Word instructs... I ask for Your help in trusting...trusting that my husband is the man You want him to be right now, trusting that Your Word is always true and the answer to everything, trusting that the right actions on my part will produce good fruit in this difficult but rewarding thing called marriage. Trusting... trusting that my children will make it through my many faults and failures to become the adults You already know they'll be... trusting in You instead of in me.

2. Helpful - tending to be beneficial or favorable to somebody or thing. This word seems so simple, my Lord! So basic and simple and easy... but it's not so, is it? Not for me always, I know...Let today be different. Let today be one huge opportunity to helpful...to be beneficial in every way I can! I look forward to this challenge, Lord! I long to joyfully become the helping, helpful, beneficial, favorable wife, mother and woman that You call me to be! If there is anything I can do this day to help my husband in any way... reveal this/these to me so that I can go about getting them done! If there is a need or desire he hasn't expressed but You know to be there... share it with me and like a surprise party we can work together to do this task that he didn't even know I knew of! Show me ways, sweet Father, to be the same for my children. If they have a need to be met...guide me each step in meeting it. If they are struggling with anything... fears, chores, attitudes, --- anything...help them through me. Help them with my hands and with my heart.

3. On the same side - not antagonistic toward or in conflict with another. This is another one that should be easy... another thing that should be automatic and sure. Once again with me, Lord, it isn't always the case. Oh, I claim it! I claim that it is us against the world, that we are a team, that we are always on the same side --- but too often I don't live it. Too often I will make decisions on my own before even thinking of asking my husband HIS view until I have already decided on it. Much too often I will see things his way and my way instead of our way. All too often I will allow an argument/disagreement to place us on different side. Forgive me, Father, and help me today to keep us as one! Let me not antagonize if I am frustrated by making little comments or thinking in my head "I told you so". Help me today to remain on the same side as my kids on every issue we face. Not on the side of someone else's opinion or thoughts but us all... on the same side and together. Help me to teach them this now --- that we are all in this thing together so that they can grow up to keep their families bonded this way one day. Allow no conflict to separate us, Father... none is worth that!

4. Pleasant and welcoming - with a pleasant and welcoming atmosphere. This one is such a passion of mine! Oh, King of my soul, You know how much I love to put this one into practice. I know I fall down and fail far more than I begin to stand and succeed but it is in my heart to try! Okay, Lord... today I pray that I will be enjoyable! That my home will be enjoyable! You can help me, Lord, for I have it not on my own to provide this joy that they can take part in at all times. When they wake up, Father, fill them with joy! When I serve them breakfast, however hurried we might be --- help me to make it enjoyable. Make my nature good... let my entire demeanor speak of happiness, peace and goodness so that it will pour out on my loved ones. Oh, Father - that I could serve you by creating and establishing a WELCOME home! Welcome for my dear and precious family as well as every beautiful familiar and not recognized face that graces our doorstep. Train me, Lord! Please train me to receive gladly each and every person I am blessed to love and care for. Make my home - my home that is really Your home - a place my husband delights in. Instruct me in every way so that he can be blessed by every moment he is here. Make my children glad to be home, glad to be with us and glad to help keep our focus on You and in serving others. Let us gladly and generously welcome each other into each new day, with each meal partaken, each time shared together, each close of the day. May each soul rest in the knowledge that they are eagerly and delightfully accepted... accepted for who they are in YOU, accepted in complete and total love. May we answer each need in welcoming grace as opportunities to learn more of what You would have us do. Show us how to freely love and show love never expecting anything in return. Just as You have always done for us. Just as Your Son did on that cross. He gave everything and expected nothing in return. He loved without condition and in spite of them. May we only strive today and each day coming to follow His prime example of friendliness, affection, trust, helpful, pleasant, and welcoming.

In the Name of Christ, the Name above all names, King above all Kings, beautiful Lord, Jesus Christ... Amen. Based on Proverbs 14:1

I woke this morning with a huge feeling to start cleaning the house all over from top to bottom, to scrub and scrub and scrub some more... Nesting?! Quite possibly, with my beautiful princess I got that feeling about 2 months before she was born. Here's the issue, I have no energy to do so. So now I am left with the feeling of...UGH....I want to do it badly don't get me wrong, I just don't have the motivation to do so...And I keep looking for reasons to not do it. God grant me the energy and the drive to accomplish these chores each day, and also have time to sit and relax.

A careful woman I ought to be:
A little girl follows me;
I do not dare to go a stray
For fear she’ll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape her eyes;
What’re she sees me do,
she tries
Like me, she says,
she ’s going to be,
The little girl who follows me.
She thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine;
The bad in me she must not see,
The little girl who follows me.
I must remember as I go,
Through summer’s sun and winter’s snow,
I am building for the years to be,
For a little girl follows me.

-Author Unknown

Raising A Godly Little Princess

After much consideration and researching into the topic of teaching babies, toddlers, and beyond... I have concluded that raising my daughter in a classical christian manner is the best opportunity for her currently and for her future. While she is still a baby I am instituting the curriculum from Brightly Beaming Resources. That link is for their nursery age curriculum. If you are looking for something beyond baby, they also have toddler, and beyond. In my research I found wonderful information on classical christian education. I have found that is a great option for educating of girls, as I believe boys should have a more "formal" education, which I will also be investigating as far has a homeschooling option for the little boy that we are expecting in July.

In addition to her receiving the classical education when she is older, I will also be teaching her homemaking skills, and how to be a godly young woman. This may sound dated to many, however it is what my family feels is best for our daughter. In no way are we saying that she shouldn't be educated, but she should be able to be what the bible deems as a helpmate to her husband and a good example for her children. I hope that in raising her in such a fashion will be a benefit to her virtues and self image.

I hope that in my diligence in this matter she will learn that women are a gift from God, and that as such we should maintain what He set forth as a mission for women: Being Godly, a homemaker, a wife, mother, and to do any other opportunity He has planned for us along the passing of our lives.